Do They Hate Their Kids? 45 Times Parents Chose Awful Baby Names That Will Embarrass Their Children In The Future

By Jhoana C

This article was originally published on funniesnow

What name do you pick for your baby? How do you decide on the ideal baby name? Type those questions on Google, and you’ll see numerous pieces of advice, including looking up the meaning of the name, honoring your culture, looking at your family tree, and avoiding passing trends.

It’s crucial to choose a good name for your kid. After all, your children will have to bear that name forever.

However, it seems that lately, people are not putting much thought into deciding what they will name their babies. We understand the need for a unique name, but does it really have to go to the point that you can barely pronounce or spell the name? Call us old-fashioned, but we don’t think so. How about you?

So, in keeping with our topic, here are 45 embarrassing baby names that made people shake their heads in disagreement.

Honestly, this is a little too much

We don’t get so many things when it comes to naming babies. We understand the need for a unique name, like choosing something that’s not as common as Mae, Ann, or Mary. But we don’t understand naming children with out-of-this-world names.

Image courtesy of Nikki Parker/Facebook

What’s worse than unusual names? Bizarre and sometimes downright ridiculous ones. Don’t believe us? Here’s a convincing case in point. The word “Honesty” could make for a good name. The problem is that it’s been spelled Honasty, Honestleigh, and now Honistee. We’re just going to move on.

Here we go again with “unique” spelling

If you picked a name like “Rose,” your kid would be so happy with that. But some people don’t want names that sound and are spelled like most other names. They want to stand out, and, for the most part, they unknowingly give their children a hard time growing up because of their names.

Image courtesy of Viki HayDay Pitts/Facebook

What’s wrong with giving your child a name with a common spelling? True, there are millions of Cates and Kates in this world, but what is wrong with that? We’re billions of people on the planet. It’s okay to have similar names! Now, naming a child Caity is just too much.

What would prompt a parent to do this?

These names are making us shake our heads. We’d like to think that most of the parents on this list were intoxicated out of their minds when they named their babies. How else could you explain this atrocity? What kind of names are “Ridge” and “English?”

Image courtesy of Casey Lynn Bass/Facebook

We get the fact that most names have meanings behind them. Perhaps the name belonged to a favorite uncle, grandpa, or someone who has greatly impacted your life. But could any of those people be, by any chance, named Ridge and English? We find that hard to believe.

We can only imagine the father’s name

If we grew up with either of these names, Zakarot and Fredward, we’d make it a point to sue our parents when we’re of age. Why in heavens would you do this? We can only try to guess the name of the parents of these unfortunate children.

Image courtesy of Charity Mann/Facebook

Could the dad perhaps be named Squidward? Or could the mom be named Sweetums or Chipmunk? We can only imagine the bullying these little kids must endure in school. “Hey Zakarot, what’s up? Where’s your brother Fredward?” You don’t even need a punchline because their names are the punchline.

I’d like to crawl back into my mother’s womb

Imagine being named Qwinzleigh. Would you be happy, or would you be upset most of the time? We suppose you’re going to choose the latter. Take note there are only two vowels in that spelling; the rest are all consonants.

Image courtesy of Erica Crain/Facebook

Kids these days can be really mean, and even an issue as small as a particular name can be easily blown out of proportion. Instead of Qwinzleigh, your kid could end up being called all sorts of names that will make them cry, so think carefully.

Okay, lady. If you say so.

What happened to old-fashioned names? Did they go out of style? If so, when did that happen? Because we don’t see anything wrong with old-fashioned names. Sarah, Mary, Steven, and James. What’s wrong with those? Maybe people have been watching way too much fantasy shows.

Image courtesy of Emily Carter/Facebook

We’d rather pick old-fashioned names instead of choosing all sorts of laughable gibberish, such as Guendolyn and Ellowynne. On top of being made fun of in school, your kids would also have to spend the rest of their lives spelling out their names, as most people won’t know how to write them.

There’s no point even attempting to pronounce this

We won’t attempt to pronounce this name because we know we’ll mess it up big time. We can’t help but think that the baby should consider themselves lucky that their parents even thought of including a few vowels in there.

Image courtesy of Christine Peymani/Facebook

We can’t even wait to see what they will name the baby sister or brother. All we can do is cross our fingers for that baby and hope he doesn’t fall victim to his parents’ penchant for naming their children bizarre names.

And now we have parents naming their children after cities and places

This child is just lucky that her parents did not name them after Hell Town, Ohio, and spelled it as Heil Town. Various celebrities have named their children after places, including Brooklyn Beckham, Paris Hilton, Paris Jackson, Zuma, and Ireland Baldwin.

Image courtesy of Loretta Enloe/Facebook

What’s worse than being named after a city or a place? Deliberately misspelling the name of the city or place such as this one. BrookLun? The poor kid must’ve been made fun of a lot. At least they can ask people to call them Brook instead.

Living on the…

We hope that this guy doesn’t grow up to be like his namesake, finishing other wrestlers off with moves like Edgecution, Edge O-Matic, and Winning Edge. Not that wrestling is wrong, but it’s a hazardous occupation. You can get injured!

Image courtesy of McKenzie Szarmach/Facebook

Yes, we are aware that those wrestling moves are fake, but it doesn’t matter. Injuries are very real. You can end up in a cast or unable to walk for months. So Edge, darling, when you grow up, you should aim for a safer job. Don’t live on the edge.

Welcome to the world, baby!

We wonder what the baker was thinking when making this cake. Did they think that the baby’s name sounded “peighnful?” Because most people on the internet surely have that sentiment. Why did they have to make the spelling seem fancy?

Image courtesy of Kenz Stephenson/Facebook

These parents probably wanted to give their child a French name but were not confident about pronouncing the name correctly. Hence why they decided to give her an English name like “Rainbow” but with a completely different spelling. Now it looks like a French word. Poor child.

Yes, Yamajesty!

If you think you’ve seen the worst baby names buckle up your seatbelts because we’re just getting started. More nightmarish baby names are waiting for you, and this next name is possibly the top offender on this list of criminal names.

Image courtesy of Megan Johnson/Facebook

You might as well make a curtsy or bow when you meet this baby because their name is Yamajesty. We can only hope that this baby will grow up to be a well-rounded person and not act like everything has to be given to him for free because the world doesn’t work that way.

Swipe left for Thoumis

If you had come across Thoumis on Tinder and had to judge if you would date him solely by his name, would you swipe left or right? We figure most would swipe left. After all, what kind of person is a guy named Thoumis?

Image courtesy of Tiffany Schuyler Parrish/Facebook

His name makes it sound like he’s one of those rich guys who love dating around. We hate to be judgmental, but a person’s name does have an impact on people. But between Thoumis and Yamajesty, we’d still choose Thoumis.

If you were born on a plane

At least this baby has something to be thankful for when he grows up. And that’s the fact he wasn’t born on a train. Otherwise, his name would have been Trainlan. Actually, it could have been worse – if he had been born on a bus, he would have been called Buslan.

Image courtesy of Lynne Jaeger

Young kids may not realize that their names are different, but they sure won’t be happy as they grow up and finally understand all the jokes. Well, unless Skylan got a lifetime deal from American Airlines, as companies sometimes do that in these cases. Then he will be happy.

Are we walking backward?

How people name their offspring nowadays makes you question if humanity has evolved or devolved. Aren’t humans meant to be the brightest and fittest group? Isn’t that why we thrived as a species? At least, that’s what Darwin was saying in his theories.

Image courtesy of Em De Losa

However, names such as Alycesaundra makes people think otherwise. It’s possible that cave dwellers had better name ideas than the parents of this generation. We will just refrain from thinking about what the kids of future generations will be called.

Don’t name your children like you would diseases…

Do you know what’s common about diseases? They all have those weird-sounding names that are difficult to pronounce. So, keep this tip in mind when naming your baby. Don’t opt for a name that sounds like a disease because the baby is going to hate it.

Image courtesy of Bri Paige

We don’t want to be mean, but ZeniyahLarea sure sounds a lot like a disease, and that’s not a good thing. That’s something we wouldn’t wish even for our enemy’s baby. Everyone should stop at Zendaya. Don’t go any further than that.

We don’t even want to call this child by her name

Can you imagine being this child’s friend or teacher? What if you had a need to call the child? Her name is a mouthful, Serahjoyfulangel. If you’re her parent and you got angry with her, would you even try calling her by her full name the way most parents do?

Image courtesy of Caro S/Facebook

Parents, don’t make things hard for yourself. It would be best if you considered times when your child gets on your nerves, and you need to call them by their full name. Make it short and sweet, such as Joy or Kim. It’s easier to shout when you’re mad at them.

Satilla the Hun?

Why would your name your child Satilla? Is she the descendant of Attila the Hun? Attila was a powerful ruler back in the day, so it kind of makes sense that parents would want to name their kids after him.

Image courtesy of Jessi Darnell/Facebook

We can only hope that this child will do justice to her almost namesake. Perhaps one of her parents is a foreigner and chose a name that is common in their mother tongue. Well, at least this baby girl is also called Grace, so she can go by her second name instead.

We don’t see anything wrong with Huxton

Huxton is a pretty normal name compared to the others on the list, and we have nothing against it. We would rather name our child Huxton than BrookLun or ZeniyahLarea. At least it’s not difficult to pronounce and won’t require the child to spend 30 minutes spelling out his name.

Image courtesy of Katrina FrankFacebook

What’s bothering us is the illustration on the card because it looks more like a butt print and not a pumpkin. Anyway, congratulations to the parents for being gifted a little boy who hopefully achieves great things in the future.

This girl better live at the North Pole.

The parents of this little girl must be huge fans of the bitter winter and anything that’s icy cold. That’s the only explanation we can think of as to why they named their daughter Icey Frost Winter. They must probably live at the North Pole.

Image courtesy of Makenna Gilmore

We wouldn’t be surprised if this little girl grows up to become Santa’s assistant at the North Pole, wrapping gifts for children all over the world. The weather would suit her, and surely no one would complain about helping Santa. Let’s just hope she never moves to Florida.

Alick is a pretty tame name

This is another name we don’t see any issues with. No, it’s not that nice – but it’s a lot better than the other names on this list. However, the photo is a bit confusing, though. Some people are taking it as an invitation to lick the cake.

Image courtesy of Jacquelyn Watkins

But why make a name complicated when Alick could have simply been Alec? Or perhaps the parents have something against Alec Baldwin, hence the need to change the spelling a bit? Hmm, we’re trying to think of a reason why someone would hate the actor/comedian.

CK for X

When did Maxim ever become Macksim? When did ‘CK’ ever become trendy enough to replace ‘X?’ Here we are shaking our heads again at this newest update, which we only found out now after looking at the way people are naming their babies.

Image courtesy of Alexandra Wallbank

Naming your baby is a task that you should put enough thought into. You can’t start calling your baby random words and sounds. Life doesn’t work that way – unless you want people to roll their eyes when they hear your baby’s name.

Monique is Imunique

We get what the parents wanted to do here. They wanted their child to embrace their uniqueness. The baby was unlike any other kid in the world, and they wanted her to remember it for the rest of her life, hence the name.

Image courtesy of Bella Hough/Facebook

The phrase “I’m unique” was transformed and became a single word: Imunique. Nothing could be more authentic than that name for such a unique baby. Don’t you think? We can only hope that the parents regretted their decision and named their baby something else, like Eloise, perhaps?

Artemis Tiabeanie

Judging by this baby’s name, we can only conjecture that the parents loved two things. One is reading Greek mythology, and the other is watching Netflix. Why do we say that? Because Artemis is the Greek goddess of the hunt, wilderness, and animals.

Image courtesy of Facebook

On the other hand, Tiabenie is a character from the Netflix animated series Disenchantment, and she goes by the nickname ‘Bean.’ At least this baby can be thankful that the parents didn’t name her Tiabeanie Mariabeanie de la Rochambeaux Grunkwitz, Tiabenie’s full name on the show.

What a name to call your twins

Identical twins look exactly alike. Well, it’s possible for one twin to be taller than the other, but they are mirror images of one another in almost every aspect. In order to tell twins apart, it’s important that they have something that distinguishes them from one another.

Image courtesy of Larissa Siverly

Usually, it’s their names that set them apart. Now, who in their right mind would call their identical twin sons the same name? We wonder how the parents, and even the twins themselves, are able to tell who Branden is and who Branden is.

Baby or mathematical equation

Although we’d like to blame Elon Musk for making strange and unpronounceable baby names trendy, the guy has got nothing to do with it. This epidemic has been raging since before the billionaire and his then-partner, Grimes, named their baby X Æ A-12.

Image courtesy of Caitlin BrandsmaFacebook

For the love of everything that is holy, please don’t name your babies like a scientific experiment or a mathematical equation. They are more than that; they are people with feelings. Soon enough, they will feel like they don’t belong, especially with a name such as Hexagram Camillo.

Kash and Hadleigh

There’s no denying that these two children are siblings. You can easily tell that they have the same parents because of the unique spelling of their names. Big brother’s name is Kash, while little sister’s name is Hadleigh Mae Rose.

Image courtesy of Maria Flores

Judging from the photo, big brother Kash seems to have a penchant for old designs that would have been considered hip back in the 1970s. We know several kids named Kash, so it’s not such a big issue, and Hadleigh isn’t as bad as the other names here.

Why name your daughter after a worm?

Invertebrate animals have slender, elongated, and slender bodies. There are numerous worms, such as roundworms, ribbon worms, peanut worms, pinworms, and spoonworms. Why are we saying this? Because this parent decided it was a good idea to name her daughter after a worm.

Image courtesy of Facebook

Parents, remember that your kids will carry the name of your choice for the rest of their lives. Would you like to be called Wormlyn? Would that make you smile and love your parents? If the answer is no, don’t name your child Wormlyn.

This has got to be one of the worst names on the list

We’ve come across some pretty awful names in this list, but this has got to be one of the worst. What would warrant a baby being named Polaris Bear? Did the baby ever do anything bad? Was the process of giving birth difficult?

Image courtesy of Lizzey Kelly

We get that polar bears are cuddle creatures. But they’re also pretty scary – you don’t want to find yourself face-to-face with one of these creatures out in the frosty wild. If this baby doesn’t want to change her name in the future, she can ask people to call her ‘Pol.’

When did Michael ever go out of fashion?

Michael is a pretty popular name. After all, one of the angels is named Michael, and one of the most famous personalities in the Renaissance had a ‘Michael’ in his name too. Michael is a name with various versions, depending on your location.

Image courtesy of Nicholas Brown

Michael in French is Michel. In Portuguese and Spanish, it’s Miguel. In Italian, it’s Michele, and in Greek and Russian, it’s Mikhail. But we have never come across Michael spelled as ‘Mickaile.’ This has got to be the first time we’re seeing this name.

Dizney princess

Spend five minutes on Twitter or other social media platforms, and you’ll see that lots of adults love Disney stuff. While their animations are mostly aimed at a juvenile audience, that doesn’t stop grown adults from loving princess movies. It certainly didn’t stop this woman.

Image courtesy of Bored Panda

The kids’ mother (and probably the father as well) must love Disney so much that they named their kid Dizney. Well, it’s not as bad as some other names, but it’s still not nice. Imagine how disappointed the parents will be if the kid grows up to hate Disney movies.

Hi, Jru!

We are a little confused regarding the pronunciation of this name. For all intents and purposes, we’re thinking that it should be pronounced like Drew or Gru. Though we find it hard to believe a parent would name their kids after a Minions character.

Image courtesy of Britny Naté Bassett

Honestly, we can’t think of a single language to which this name could belong. It’s pretty hard to pronounce the ‘J’ and the ‘R’ together, so maybe they’re not supposed to be pronounced that way. Maybe it’s supposed to sound like “Jay” followed by “Ru?”

Happy birthday, Kaleighya

The one good thing about this picture is the cake. It looks so good that it tears your heart out just thinking of devouring it – but isn’t that the purpose of cakes? Their baker must be a talented one to come up with such a gem.

Image courtesy of Lemony Snicket

However, we can’t ignore the name on that cake because that’s the whole point of this list. Kaleighya would have been Caleigh for most people. Well. It’s still not as bad as naming your baby Hexagon, so we still think the baby will be okay.

When your parents are fans of the X-Men

There’s a reason this name isn’t high up on our list, and that’s because it actually sounds normal and is not that unusual. Cable is even the name of one of the characters of Marvel Comics. Of course, Cable is only a nickname, but it’s close enough to a real name.

Image courtesy of Bailey Graye Wilkie

We have a few questions after seeing this photo. The first one is: did the parents really mean to name their child Cable? If that’s not the case, maybe the person who made this pillow misspelled the name ‘Caleb?’ We honestly hope it’s the second option.

Wow, this baby’s name is a mouthful

This baby’s name is a little too much for us. Just the pronunciation is a mouthful, and we get our tongues tied every time we attempt to say it. Cassnurah Azalea Deonishka, we hope that you get a chance to legally change that name.

Image courtesy of Belinda Emilyy

Azalea would have been fine, wouldn’t it? If this little girl is growing up in an English-speaking country, we feel so bad for her. She’ll have to spend the rest of her life spelling out her full name so people can write it down or even pronounce it.

Chicago West’s new best friend

Chicago West is Kim Kardashian and Kanye’s child and is one of the world’s most recognizable and richest kids. If she’s looking for a best friend, this little baby might be it. That is, if the “best friend requirements list” includes being named after a place, they’ll be BFFs in no time.

Image courtesy of Elizabeth Anne

Naming kids after places is not necessarily unusual. Lots of celebs do that, but keep in mind that celebrities and their kids are rich and glamorous. Michigan, on the other hand, doesn’t really fit that description. At least this kid can also be called Manuel, which is a pretty common name.

Blame this on Game of Thrones

We’re blaming Game of Thrones for the deluge of weird names and equally weird spellings. We know it’s been years since the last episode of the show aired, but their incredibly long and difficult names are still seared in our memories.

Image courtesy of thechive.com

If you’re watching HOTD, you know that the GoT spin-off also has its share of peculiar names. This mother was probably inspired by the Game of Thrones universe when she picked this name. However, we have to admit that the Targaryens have some cool-sounding names.

These two could be twins

For all we know, these two babies in the tattoo could be twins. After all, they have names with almost the same sounds, and the drawings are identical. Everyone, meet Azriel and Adriel. Naming your children with syllables ending in the same sound can be tricky.

Image courtesy of Sara Miller

When the parents call one of them, they could become confused as to who is being called. Was it me, Azriel, or my sister, Adriel? We can’t help but notice that the Precious Moments-style tattoo looks quite sad. We hope the kids are alright.

The parent must love arts and crafts so much

This baby’s name reminds you of a famous website where you can go and sell your unique arts and crafts, as well as vintage and custom gifts. Come on, don’t deny it. You know we’re right. The e-commerce company has items that fall under a wide range of items.

Image courtesy of Kiley Wright

This baby’s name is free promotion for Etsy. Yes, there is a little difference in spelling, but who cares? It sounds the same to most people. But, still, in the grand scheme of things, Etsie isn’t that bad. It’s actually a little cute.

Maybe she can audition for Friends

Rachel is one of the most common names in the world. This name has biblical origins and is written and pronounced differently in every language. In English, however, the name can have radically different spellings – it all depends on the parents’ creativity.

Image courtesy of Justin Kolosky/Facebook

As you can see, the name Rachel is spelled in a completely different way here. And this is certainly not the only unusual spelling you’ll see for this name. What’s intriguing in this photo is that the person looks like a guy. That might be the first male Raechaell we’ve ever seen!

In the sea of Galilee

A lot of people want to name their kids after people in the Bible. The most common are Mary, Joseph, John, Judah, James, Jonathan, and Shiloh. Galilee is not the name of a person; it’s the name of a place. Hence it’s not common for people to use it as a child’s name.

Image courtesy of Bored Panda

Galilee, if you think about it, is a region in northern Israel. The name traditionally refers to the mountainous part, and the sea of Galilee is where Jesus was thought to have walked on water. This child’s lucky; her name could have been a lot worse.

Destineay’s Child

Imagine having parents who are huge fans of one of the most powerful girl groups of all time. They love the group so much that they named you after them. This child doesn’t have to imagine such a thing because it’s a reality she’ll have to deal with.

Image courtesy of Hilary Boyer

She’s not Destiny. That’s not a weird name. The problem is that she’s Destineay. At this point, she has to be glad that they didn’t spell her name Dhestineeeeayhy. Such a name is a Desti-No for a lot of people, including us. Parents, have mercy on your babies, please.

Ameliagh, not Amelia

You must have noticed that names ending in ‘-gh’ are way too popular. If you add those consonants to names like Leigh or Kaleigh, it’s not going to sound weird at all. Now, we all have to admit that not every name sounds good with that ending.

Image courtesy of Hannah Brown

We would love to know where these parents got their inspiration from. They obviously didn’t want to go with the classic ‘-gh’ names, so they came up with a new way to use the letters. The problem is that Ameliagh is just not it.

Oh, Oliveah

Throughout history, there have been countless famous Olivias, including author Olivia Goldsmith, actresses Olivia Wilde, Olivia Munn, and Olivia Newton-John, and Olivia Benson, a fictional detective in the show Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Olivia is Latin for “olive tree.”

Image courtesy of Jacob Johnson

Most girls named Olivia are nicknamed Ollie, Livie, or Liv. A few variations of the name are Olive, Olyvia, Lyvia, Livia, and Alyvia. But we’ve never seen Olivia spelled as Oliveah. We admit that it’s unique, but we don’t see the need for the extra letters.

Is she related to Harry Styles?

This baby’s name is Styles Jett. Currently, we only know of one famous Styles, and that is Harry, the former member of the boy band One Direction. So, is it safe to assume that this baby was named after Harry Styles’ own private plane?

Image courtesy of Megan Marie/Facebook

We hope that’s not the meaning the parents were going for. If it is, then we feel kind of bad for this baby. Alternatively, maybe the mother wanted to name the kid after Stiles, the character from Teen Wolf. The dad, on the other hand, wanted to name him after Joan Jett, the rockstar.

Badger?

Most humans love animals, which is why lots of households have pets. While it’s common to see dogs and cats lounging around the house, some people love unusual animals, like badgers. There’s nothing wrong with that – unless you decide to name your kid after your favorite animal.

Image courtesy of Samantha Rose/Facebook

Although some people on the internet pointed out that the name Badger is normal compared to the others on the list, we’re still bothered by it. We’re not sure how the kid is going to feel about being named after an animal that is known for being stinky.