The Realities of Relationships as Told by Artist Yehuda DevirBy Abigail T
While everyone’s relationships differ, there are definitely a few things that all couples, especially married couples, can relate to. It’s always comforting to know that other couples are experiencing the same things, whether profound or trivial, and it’s not just you. Sometimes this comfort can come from hearing other people’s stories, and other times it can come unexpectedly from social media. Israel-based artist Yehuda Devir draws comics specifically about the struggles and perks of married life, based on his own experiences with his wife, Maya. His comics document their relationship from where it started to where they are right now, as parents. If you’re in a relationship right now, scroll down to see whether you can relate to any of these!
Girls can be messy too
The general stereotype floating around is that boys are the messy ones, and girls are the ones that clean up. When you’re in a relationship, especially if you’re cohabitating in any way, you’ll quickly realize that this stereotype is false.
Girls can be messy, too. More often than not, they’re even messier than guys. Cleaning up after oneself is a habit, and if it’s not built from a young age, chances are it’s not going to follow you into adulthood.
Reminders app is a lifesaver
Long-term relationships are full of milestones. Your first date, first kiss, first “I love yous,” your wedding, etc. With so many firsts it may be hard to remember them all. Not to mention birthdays, which are arguably the most important to keep track of.
But don’t worry. It’s the Reminders app to the rescue! All you need to do is input any important dates to your reminder and make the event repeat annually. Then, set a “one-week before” alert to give yourself plenty of time to prepare something special!
Health craze phases
Being with someone means being there through all their phases. Whether it’s their emo phase, their “read 100 books in a year” phase, or their health craze phase, you’re stuck with them. And often, you bear the consequences alongside them.
When your partner is in a health craze phase, they will probably drag you to the gym with them every morning. They’ll throw out all the food in the cupboard that contains too many sugars and calories. You’ll be stuck eating salad and drinking green juice alongside them the whole time.
A man’s Kryptonite
Superman avoids exposure to Kryptonite at all costs because it’s fatal for him. For the simple man without superpowers, that Kryptonite is the flu. Women, in general, have a better tolerance for pain and discomfort than men. It takes more than the sniffles to keep a woman down.
Guys will catch the flu and act like they’re on their deathbed and their life is over. Meanwhile, all the ladies are out here taking care of their man, all the while laughing at how weak they actually are despite the tough exterior.
When you enter a relationship, your life changes as you now have another person in your life to care for. Suddenly, neither of you have enough time to do anything you need to do, much less anything you want to do. Surviving the struggles of adulthood takes teamwork.
Sometimes, there will be a role reversal. Mom’s job might mean she’s in the office all day, leaving Dad to do the food shopping. When that happens, though, you can see that guys are basically incompetent in terms of grocery shopping.
Being another person’s partner means having the same goals as they do. These might be big goals, like saving up for a house, or more personal goals like getting more fit by working out. It’s comforting to know you have someone working towards the same things you are.
Unfortunately, sometimes one person needs a little more motivation than the other. Keeping a consistent diet and workout routine isn’t that easy! Sometimes all you want to do is just sit and rot in front of the TV with a tub of Nutella.
Who did I marry?
When you marry or move in with someone, be ready to throw all previous conceptions about them out the window. You’ll soon discover that you don’t really know your significant other; that they are a completely different person at home, relaxed and stripped of their inhibitions.
The morning face is a perfect example of this. If you’re used to seeing your girlfriend in makeup with her hair done, you’re going to be surprised to see what she looks like when she’s just woken up in the morning.
The rat in the fridge
Have you ever stored food in the refrigerator only for it to go missing little by little every time you open the fridge? You’d probably start thinking you have a rat problem because there’s no other reason why your food would slowly disappear.
But nope, it’s not a rat. Sometimes it’s just your boyfriend rummaging around in the middle of the night looking for something to eat. This behavior might slide when you live alone, but not when you’re sharing the fridge with other people!
That time of the month is never pleasant for women. For their significant others, it’s a tough time, too. Between the mood swings, cramps, cravings, and sometimes stress if you’re trying to have a baby because it is also a sign that you’ve failed that month.
It can be really disappointing for a couple who are trying to have a child. It means your attempts this month have not been successful. But you aren’t alone; you go through these things together and help one another through the disappointment.
This artist tried to capture the moment he and his wife finally received some good news. After attempts at conceiving, she is finally pregnant, and this beautiful moment filled with relief and ecstasy is depicted so well in this comic.
These are the faces of two people who are enjoying the last of their freedom. Nine months from this now, there’s going to be a baby wailing, demanding to be fed, waking them up at all hours of the night, and exhausting all their energy.
Going to sleep angry
One rule some people have in their relationships is to not go to sleep angry, and it’s good advice to take. Before you go to sleep, take the time to resolve the problem. Unfortunately, this isn’t possible every single time. Some arguments take days or weeks to work through.
Although you’re angry at each other, there is no denying that there is still love there. Love for your partner and anger at their mistakes are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes the physical space in bed is needed, but this beautiful picture shows the love that’s still there.
Gaining weight together
The couple that gains weight together stays together. We don’t make the rules; this is just a fact of life. The beauty of relationships is that you get to evolve with another person—mentally, emotionally, and also physically. You get to witness the other person grow.
If this isn’t the most realistic comic we’ve ever seen, nothing is! Freaking out over the weight you’ve gained is one thing, but at least with a significant other, you can freak out together. And then you hit the gym and try to shed that weight together.
At some point, some of us will start looking at babies and thinking, “I want one.” Then ensues the mom fever. If you’re a guy in the relationship and you don’t particularly feel one way or another about having kids, you’d just watch the mom fever unfold.
Wanting to have children is perfectly normal, and when you’re in a relationship, this is definitely something to be discussed. It’s no easy matter, and children are a lifelong responsibility. If a couple decides they want to have children, it’s time to prepare for parenthood, the ride of a lifetime.
When you’re a first-time parent, you try to do everything by the book. Moms will eat everything recommended to them and research the various kinds of delivery methods. Dads will worry about the moms overexerting themselves and will go above and beyond to make sure that all her needs are met.
This guy is the typical overprotective partner. He won’t let his wife lift a finger while she’s pregnant, even if it’s the lightest item available. It looks like they’re moving to a bigger house for the baby. But she’s not allowed to help because that would be “risky.”
Baby’s first kick
Getting pregnant is a life milestone in itself, but there are many milestones during the nine months of pregnancy, too. Things like the fact that the baby is now the size of an avocado, finding out the gender, and the baby’s first kick are all exciting moments.
First kicks are always a big deal. For the mother-to-be, it’s an odd and fascinating sensation to be able to feel (and see) the kicks. It’s a shared experience for the father, too, who will put his hand on the mom’s belly and interact with his child for the first time.
Everyone has issues with confidence every now and then. You may absolutely adore the body of the person you’re with, but they may not feel the same way about themselves. This is easy to forget until you’re both at the beach.
The beach isn’t the best place to be when you’re feeling particularly low in terms of self-esteem. People are shirtless all around you, showing off their washboard abs and slender frames. It can make you self-conscious, and you shouldn’t be pressured into taking your shirt off if you don’t want to!
The weight loss journey is an uphill climb. You want to celebrate every little win, even if it is just a fraction of a pound you lost. Anything can motivate you to do better. But with a prankster for a partner, it can be annoying.
Imagine feeling like you’ve done a good job this week; eating healthy, working out, and fighting through junk food cravings. You’re excited to weigh yourself to check your progress and are shocked to find that you actually gained weight instead of lost it. Thanks a lot, boyfriend!
Guys will quickly learn this fact about ladies when they move in with their girlfriends. Women shed their hair every day; it’s only natural. Unfortunately, that means that there will always be hair everywhere in the house, even if you sweep every day.
On the floor, in the bathroom, on the pillows, on the sofa. Men, it’s important to know that it’s completely normal, and you shouldn’t freak out. It’s even more important not to judge your girlfriends for it because it’s not something they can control.
Binge watching betrayal
Binge-watching shows as a couple can start out as a fun activity. But it can also turn into betrayal once someone watches new episodes of the show without you. The disappointment, and even fights, that this creates are something else.
It’s one thing to watch new episodes without your partner. It’s even worse to then spoil those episodes for them. You can basically equate this with cheating; it’s the same kind of hurt and betrayal you get that the other person has moved on without you.
Baby making plans
Trying for a baby requires a bit of strategizing. The window of fertility every month is different for every woman, and it varies in their cycle as well. So when a couple agrees that they will try to conceive, there needs to be a clear game plan.
Once the woman finds out the approximate date when she’s ovulating, it’s all go go go from there. No opportunity should be wasted because if it is, they will have to wait another month to try again. And when you’re planning to conceive, that month can feel like a year.
Baby making diet
When it comes time to try to conceive, a couple will try anything. Women would read up, consult doctors, and find out what the best diet is. They’d follow anything anyone recommends them. Like, did you know if you ate more of a particular food, you might end up having a boy?
Meanwhile, like the guy in this comic, men stick to their cereal and don’t ask too many questions. They trust that whatever concoction their partner consumes, it will help with the process. After all, it is her body, and she can choose to ingest whatever she is comfortable with.
In the process of trying to conceive, there is also the matter of trying in the bedroom. Once you’ve identified your ovulation window and consumed all the substances that will help fertility and conception, it’s time to just try and make it happen.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint. That is unless you’re trying for a baby. Time is of the essence to conceive while the timing is right. But this guy looks like he’s beat after completing a triathlon, and yet the girl is ready for Round 58 of trying to get pregnant.
The big question
Another relationship milestone is the proposal. Whether you’re the kind of couple that talks about getting married, or if it’s just one of those unspoken conclusions that you will one day marry each other, a proposal will still come as a surprise.
This is probably the most epic depiction of a proposal we’ve ever seen. Instead of the usual signifiers, like butterflies, flowers, sparkles, and angels singing, this proposal contains explosions and rocks blowing up, with lighting tears for the full effect.
Growing old together
Growing old together is just the deal with marriage. You watch the other person age, from a spritely young 20-something, all the way until they’ve shrunk and their hairs are gray. It’s the beauty and honor of spending the entirety of your life with someone.
When the first gray hairs start to appear, it can be lowkey traumatizing. All of a sudden you’re reminded of your own mortality, that one day you will end up a senile old man, and then pretty soon you’ll be in a casket in the ground.
The clingy phase
In the early stages of a relationship, all you want to do is spend time with the other person. You want to cling to them every morning and not let the day’s responsibilities separate each of you from the other.
This honeymoon phase will fade away at some point, and then it’d be a little easier to let the other person leave for work every morning. But this phase of the relationship is always the sweetest, even if it is a bit disruptive to your daily schedule.
The first big fight
Dealing with another person means that there will be days when you disagree over one thing or another. It’s just the way interpersonal relationships work—there will be setbacks sometimes. It takes a lot of maturity to be able to sit down, discuss without judgment, apologize, and move on.
Sometimes the problem isn’t much of a problem at all. Your partner just wants to hear you apologize. A heartfelt apology is all they need. Be sincere in your apology, that your actions hurt them. Don’t just be sorry that they feel hurt.
Pregnancy changes a woman’s body in more ways than one, and we’re not just talking about the growing baby bump. Aside from the weight gain, women also experience hormonal changes that result in mood swings as well as the occasional acne breakout. In short, it’s not a fun time.
The way this guy is just sniggering at his wife’s misfortunes, even saying that she should name her new pimples! How inconsiderate of him. Meanwhile, his wife is freaking out because there seem to be ten new pimples that show up every day.
With increasing weight gain also comes increasing…assets. You’ll need more oversized-sized clothes but also larger-sized undergarments as you grow a few bust sizes. For particularly flat-chested women and their husbands, this is a perk that comes with the woman’s body preparing for a baby.
This guy is literally salivating at the sight of his wife’s new and improved size. The look on his face is priceless. She seems to appreciate the upgrade, too. Those babies are there to stay, at least until she finishes breastfeeding the baby.
Fight for the bathroom
The larger the baby gets, the more it squishes down against your bladder, and the more you find yourself needing to pee. It’s just what naturally happens, and you can’t help it. When this happens, you fight for the bathroom more and more with your partner.
There seems to be only one bathroom in their home, and it doesn’t seem to be working out very well. She basically broke down the door because of how badly she needed to go. For a pregnant couple, it’s probably a good idea to have two bathrooms, or at least two toilets.
While doctors give parents an estimate of their baby’s due date, at the end of the day, it all comes down to mother nature and the baby. The mother’s water breaking will still come as a surprise whether it happens on the due date or not.
This guy’s insistent “Don’t panic” does not help at all. Does he not know that in situations like these, “Don’t panic” is the last thing anyone wants to hear? But to be fair to him, they’re both freaking out because it’s their first time experiencing anything like this.
As the baby grows, so does the bump. When babies develop, they begin to recognize things going on outside the womb. For example, they notice the voices of people talking around them. So of course, the parents start talking to the baby, too.
What a wholesome moment captured in this comic. It’s sweet and encompasses all the love that expecting parents feel for their unborn child. It’s raw, unfiltered, and almost better than the pregnancy photoshoots with wild concepts we see on Instagram these days.
As the baby grows, sleeping comfortably becomes an increasing challenge. Women need to lie on their sides, and turning over isn’t as easy as it used to be. And laying on their backs isn’t an option, either. Often this inability to find the perfect sleeping position takes a toll on the husband, too.
Who needs a pregnancy pillow when you have a buff husband to cuddle up to in the middle of the night? We all make sacrifices to welcome a new human into our lives, and this is the sacrifice the husband must make.
I can do it myself
The further along a mother gets into her pregnancy, the fewer things she is able to do on her own. This can make some people feel helpless and frustrated that they are no longer independent and need help to do the simplest of tasks.
All this woman wants is to be able to put on her own shoes and tie her own shoelaces. After all, she’s been doing it for over 20 years. Now she’s adamant about still doing it herself because she is a self-sufficient woman who don’t need no man.
The pains of delivery
Labor is an intensive, obscenely painful process. Giving birth is a true sign of just how strong women are. Men who are in the delivery room as their child is being born know that they will have a newfound respect for their partners after witnessing the miracle of birth.
All a man can do in these situations is just be there by their partners’ side to give them the moral support they need. It’ll all be worth it when you look down and see your newborn baby for the first time.
Obsessed with the baby
Once the baby is born, parenthood begins. The initial stage of parenthood is just like the honeymoon stage of a relationship. You’re obsessed with your baby. They can do no wrong. They are the most precious being in the world.
Parents will want to keep their babies this small for as long as possible. But the inevitable fact is that babies are going to grow up. So treasure every moment of your child’s different seasons, because you’re never going to get it back.
With a newborn baby in the house, there’s no more time to do things for yourself. Gone are the days when you could wake up as late as you wanted. Now, your entire world revolves around the baby and making sure their needs are met.
Taking turns feeding the baby and soothing the baby when they wake up in the middle of the night is just one of the many exhaustions of parenthood. But the good thing is, these two aren’t doing it alone. They can lean on each other.
The first time you have to leave your baby at home is the worst. For months, it was just you and the baby, and now you have to leave them with the in-laws while you take care of other matters and step back into the real world.
This isn’t an easy feat, but it helps to have people around you that you can trust will keep the baby safe. Even though it’s family, these parents still struggle to part with their child. Sooner or later, though, you will have to go back to your normal life outside of your home.
Nothing can prepare you for parenthood. No matter how many books you read or how many seminars you attend, there will be days when you’re unsure of yourself. Raising another human is no easy feat, and it can take a toll on you.
It’s important that you don’t struggle with these self-doubts alone. Open up to your partner about how you’re feeling and what they can do to help. Most of all, remember that it’s your first time being a parent, and you are also still learning as you go.
Hiding from responsibilities
Some days just get to you. You’re sleep-deprived, exhausted, your entire body is sore, and for some reason, your baby won’t stop crying. Sometimes you just have to hide in the closet for a while just to gather your will to return to parenting.
This poor husband. He looks absolutely clueless! He’s holding a wailing, wondering where his wife has gone. He doesn’t know the first thing about calming a baby down! Clearly she’s not interested in any of her toys. What is he supposed to do?
After a couple of years of parenthood, you may be thinking that it’s time for another child. Your toddler is growing up, and they need a friend to play with. So you try for baby number 2. And when it’s confirmed that you’re pregnant again, it’s like experiencing the whole thing all over again.
This time, you not only get to share it with your partner. You get to share the moment with your firstborn as well. Soon, there will be two kids running around the house, making a mess and filling the room with noise. But it will be so worth it.