45 Online Product Listings That Prove The Crazy Isn't Only On Craigslist Anymore - gethappyday

45 Online Product Listings That Prove The Crazy Isn’t Only On Craigslist Anymore


Despite how easy the top salespeople may make it look, the act of selling is incredibly nuanced. You need to understand your buyer, do your best to get in their minds, and speak their language (we mean that figuratively, but bonus points if you actually do speak their language). You have to feed off their deepest desires.

But who knows what these sellers were thinking if they were even thinking. Instead of making us want to buy the product, it seems like they were using these for a comedy routine. It’s bad enough that they weren’t able to sell their products, but instead, they sold us the idea that they should be taken as a joke.

So if you ever want to sell something, make sure not to follow the example of these crazy adverts.

Perfect for What Occasions?

Minimalists say that if you’re not likely to use a clothing item within the next 45 days, then it might be best to donate or sell it. You can make money off of unused items and free up closet space at the same time.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

So this guy decided to sell his Levis denim shorts. He prides himself on only having used it once. But honestly, these would fit the 45-day rule in any wardrobe they find themselves in. Well, except maybe if you’re a time traveler from 35 or so years ago.

Welp, There’s That

It’s always nice to be prepared for any life event. These folks had come together expecting the death of Nana, who had been terminally ill. But it seems like the guardian angel was by Nana’s side, and she managed to postpone her death.

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The bad news is that these folks have no use for this custom-made coffin. It might be a little harder to sell than other items on the market, but you know what they say. Death is one of life’s certainties! There’ll always be a market.

Just Needs Some Honey

It’s usually a good idea to stock up on food. Just remember what the shelf life is because this man had forgotten that he had a batch of quality bacon in his freezer. He didn’t have the ‘belly’ to eat it, so he decided to put it up for sale.

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For £6? We better have a six-pack of beer and that honey-cured bacon to go. Also, make sure to wrap up that story about why you bought it and decided you didn’t need it. It sounds way juicier than “old bacon.”

What Friends?

We have always wondered why men don’t live as long as women. After all, they are more athletic, and they don’t overthink, so shouldn’t they have a healthy lifespan? Maybe that is where the problem lies — they don’t (over)think.

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Wasps in a bag? We can only imagine how this guy managed to stuff a nest in a whole bag without getting stung. But to buy them to play a prank on your friends? That’s a fail-safe way to lose your squad and an even quicker way to shorten your life span.

Popular, Huh

This guy shot to fame after he posted an advert about this particular pan of pizza that was in demand. He claims that he was only helping a friend sell it and that he’s kind enough to sell it to the public for 21 times the original price. How gracious of him!

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There were a couple of people who were equally kind enough to take it off his hands, offering to buy it for £10. Those who were less patient quickly called him out on it, saying that there were more than enough stocks of these on the market.

She Said It

What is Derby, England, known for? You could take a tour of breweries that create real ale. You have the Derby Cathedral, which is the second-tallest church tower in England. And you have fantastic item sales such as this, in case you’re looking for new furniture.

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The woman said it best: You could have that disdainful stain cleaned, but why bother with that process when you can just have it covered by a couple of throw pillows. It won’t, however, cover up the smell of dung reeking from the couch. Ok, so a throw and Febreze. Still a steal!

For Your Goldfishes

There are a lot of people who will pass off their item as something else. Nowadays, it’s all about repurposing, kind of like what this seller did. You could store your goldfish in this repurposed refrigerator. Just make sure not to plug it in.

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Just look at that space! You could place the most Oscars, Angelfish, and Clown Loaches there and fill it with Hornworts, Java Ferns, and Money plants for any of those fishes to hide in. Just make sure to keep the door shut, or else…

I’d Like To Report A Crime…

Some top salesmen swear by this number-one rule — keep your pitch short and sweet. People don’t care what the item is made out of or where you got it from. But if you share information like the kind Nigel Williamson did, chances are, you’ll land in jail.

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The guy obviously didn’t think that one through. And worse off, he admitted to the theft on a public post shared in a Facebook group. This man might have the knack for stealing, but he doesn’t have the brains to stay out of jail.

Just Tried

People who are money-savvy are conscious of the quality of the items that they buy. That’s why they will ask things such as how long ago it was made, what’s the return/ refund policy, and just how durable the item is.

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Wanting to put their mind at ease, Nicky told potential buyers that the plate was in excellent condition. Here you will see her trying it out with what seems to be a mishmash of take-out from the night before. Oh, but that’s not using it, btw!

Dog, Sold Separately

It may be difficult for people to imagine the dimensions of a container, a bin, or in this cage, a dog crate. To make things easier for them, Anne Outhwaite enlisted the help of her husband to show everyone just how big of a dog this crate could fit.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

Dog sold separately, folks. That elicited a couple of heart reactions and a great deal of uproar. Many were concerned that this dog was not being treated properly, and they eagerly offered to buy the dog crate with the dog in it!

When They Give You The Extra

We can’t help but feel for the slow-speaking Ted. Ted is known as Greendale’s handyman. And although he may not be the main character on the show, he has won viewers’ hearts for having the knack to fix anything that comes his way.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

There are two issues we have with this love doll. First, it’s a love doll! That in itself is a dealbreaker for hygiene reasons. Second, that looks nothing like Ted. We’re not sure if it can fix problems, especially those inside the bedroom, but who’s willing to try it?

Explains the Smell

Without having used a pair of heels, this woman could smell onions coming from the box. What is going on? She was concerned that she had gotten a used pair but was doubly concerned when she found these freebies inside the package.

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There you have it, folks. That is why most gym shoes and heels smell like a pair of onions. Guess there must be a new hack amongst companies and stores. Pack an onion to preserve the shelf life of those genuine leather shoes.

Choking Back Tears

There comes the point in every mom’s life when she has to decide to let her son go. It had been a fleeting moment for Ward Lynn, who decided she would put her son up for adoption. As she puts it, passing him on to someone who will love him.

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You can tell she was choking back tears as she wrote that product description. It must have been very difficult to take pictures of this cherished possession. It was the perfect child — smiled at you all day, and It. Never. Made. A. Mess.

Sound Advice

Whenever you’re selling a product, it’s crucial to build an association with positive emotions. The keyword in that sentence is positive. The last thing you want to do is to shame a customer for being a size too big for the dress you’re selling.

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That seems like sound advice. But instead of making Ashley Jarett want to buy it, she decisively blocked Caroline on Facebook. Well, how about learning to budget and stick to it, Caroline? That should help solve you on your weekly hangouts.

Before Netflix…

Before Netflix and movie torrents, we had to rely on VCDs and DVDs to rewatch our favorite movies. Each disc would cost roughly the same amount as your Netflix subscription, and these things took up a lot of shelf space.

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Mark Ward decided he could place each DVD in a storage album and then sell these DVD cases. It would have been a solid deal if he had sold these in the early 2000s and if those DVD cases actually meant anything.

Wanted: Undead

We would call this man courageous if it weren’t for his eccentricity. He was willing to confront a certainty we would all face — death. He had a coffin custom-made for him but sold it a month later, stating he had not had any use for it yet.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

Or maybe we had it wrong? Perhaps, this man had really intended to use it for someone else like Jeffrey Dahmer? But that’s a far-fetched idea. Who would leave behind a gaping piece of evidence like this in his bedroom?

A Legitimate Problem

People couldn’t help but offer some advice to Facebook user Lord Paul. The guy wanted to sell his 12-month-old Samsung Galaxy phone. But seeing that he didn’t have any other phone to show its dimensions with, he did this.

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It may seem like an oddball of a problem, but it looks pretty legit. How would you be able to show other people the dimensions of your phone if you had to use its camera? It might help to use a mirror next time, dear sir!

When the Alzheimer’s Kicks In

Oh, we feel all too well for this grandparent. He had wanted to bake a cake for his grandson’s birthday. In his mind, his grandson would be the same five-year-old he read bedtime stories to. So that’s the age he carved out for this cake design.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

It had been a little too late for him to realize that it had been two years past. Might he have missed this kid’s previous birthday party? He can’t tell. All he knows is that he has got to bake himself a new cake before Alzheimer’s kicks in.

Gotta Be Desperate

You have got to be a little desperate if you buy something as broken as this smart TV. Wayne Tull shrugs it off by saying it only needs a new screen. That fix shouldn’t cost you more than £20, promise!

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But the buyers weren’t having any of it. Comments poured in from people all over the world. If only a dollar for every reshare of this post, he would have been able to buy himself a new smart TV. But that won’t do anything for his birdbrain, sadly.

Just Like Jigsaw

This seems like the worst one yet. Luigi Arredondo quickly shot to fame after he posted this oddity for sale. It’s a glass table for $120. The price seems reasonable, but he didn’t take into consideration the buyer’s effort to put it together.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

It really shouldn’t be any different from a jigsaw puzzle. Just scatter the pieces unto the floor, being careful not to break them into smaller pieces, then glue them together. Oh, the audacity of this guy to demand $120 for what belongs in the garbage.

Ees Dish Abey Lable

Unlike the other items on this list, this washing machine was sold at a fair price after only being used for a year in this household. It was functional, and anyone who wanted to check could drop by the house. So what was the issue?

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What an odd name. But hey, we have heard countless people referring to their cars as she/her. So this shouldn’t be any different until we realized that this English folk was trying to sell us her washing machine. Get it?

No Exchange, Sorry

And this is why we dislike having to buy things off of the internet. Usually, the buyer only hands you a box containing the item, and you aren’t given enough time to check it, much less wear it. This person ought to have done a prior outfit check.

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

It might be a little too late for him to ask for a refund now. There’s no way this girl is going to give him his money’s worth after that stunt she pulled. But the beautiful thing is that he can inform everyone else to keep from buying from this seller.

Almost Had Us

This person might have been banking on selling his couch for twice its price, given its antiquity. It’s made from genuine animal hide, imported from the deserts of Africa. And he’s only selling it for £200! Is that a bargain deal or what?

Image courtesy of State of Selling / Twitter

But take a closer look, and you will see that it is just synthetic leather that has cracked. It’s not worth anyone’s money for £200! We would say that it’s better off being disposed of for free instead of being sold.

Hokay Hohn Me Weeey

It’s hard to believe that there are some people who don’t know the proper spelling of washing machine. After reading this advert, it’s as if someone had laundered every single letter of the alphabet, and this guy managed to spell it out with what few letters he could get.

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Woshing masheen. Who knew that with a change in spelling, we would be able to grow an accent too? Never mind that completely functional washing machine. These kinds of adverts from the Brits are truly the stuff of comedians’ dreams!

Low-key Not Selling

You can tell that this relationship isn’t going to last that long. Wonder why? This man is low-key selling his girlfriend on the internet. He claims he’s not selling her and is only taking a moment to thank the sales page where he had found her…

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Bought from someone else? It awfully sounds like this page is a black market for selling women. Was she not up to par, or was it just past the warranty period? Whatever the reason, take it from this guy. He’s not selling her!

Except By the Model

Without meaning to, this newbie seller made a joke out of her advert. She posted a picture of this brand new lovely pale pink pastel jacket. It even has a price tag on it! She says that it has never been worn…well, at least, not until now.

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She made the mistake of having this model wear it. To be fair, this jacket looks way better worn by someone than hung on a rack. This way, you can see how flattering the jacket is on someone with an hourglass body.

Perfect Condition

There are pros and cons to having pets in the house. They’re great company for when you live alone, and they make a good alternative to playmates if you have kids. But if you don’t train them, they might end up making a chew toy out of your furniture.

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The way we see it, it’s perfect the way it is. We wouldn’t even have noticed that there was a dog bite scuff on the front had this seller not pointed it out. It looks all the more priceless, given that a dog had deemed this couch worthy of becoming its chew toy.

Let’s Not Get Ahead of Ourselves

Sometimes, sellers will have you rush in to buy a product. They will market their items as collectibles or limited editions of a pop figure. But it only works if it actually resembles the famed celebrity. Anything else is a sham!

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It may look like it, but we’re sure that it isn’t the English singer/songwriter who achieved unparalleled success. It pays to be sure that you’re selling something depicting a celebrity. Otherwise, you’re just giving out more discounts.

Explains Everything

It often goes unstated, but it’s perhaps the most critical part of becoming a seller: You have got to have a stellar reputation. That also begins with choosing the brand, quality, and design of the items you’ll be selling. Don’t believe us? Look at this woman below.

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We wouldn’t have thought anything of her, but after reading that and seeing the information she had posted makes us think that her hubby left for good reason. The moral of the lesson? Learn to keep your work life separate from your personal life.

Those Mystery Boxes

Here is one fail-safe tip. Never buy those mystery boxes, no matter how cheap they are offered. Most sellers only put in surplus, or worse, low-quality items such as this, inside. People are basically repackaging stuff as they please.

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Give him some credit! Those are sweets! But you would be happier buying a pack of each for less the price. Bet this seller even managed to eat some of the extra goodies before repackaging bourbon biscuits in this box.

Choose One

A lot of netizens were confused after seeing Tasha Burt’s odd post. She has been a long-time member of the group, offering helpful item suggestions to buyers and sometimes helping sellers find prospective buyers. So after posting this, everyone couldn’t help but ask: What for?

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Usually, when people have us choose between two things, they’re more or less in the same category. What does she really need either one for? No amount of time will help her make up her mind. Does she really want more space to sleep on or not?

Luxury Kids’ Cakes

You might have all the money in the world, but there’s no undoing the mistake of buying this set of cakes for your kid’s birthday. This woman prides herself on baking luxury kids’ cakes, but the thing is, it looks like kids would do a better job at it.

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Reckon what the ingredients are? Four cups of flour, icing, and a cup of disillusionment. It makes for the perfect birthday cake meant to give children a nightmare. If you mistakenly order one, encourage everyone to dig in! Mmm, birthday cack.

Be Like Rob

When you grow older, you choose to spend your money more wisely. You don’t spend it going to clubs or watching movies in the theater. If you decide to eat in, subscribe to Netflix, and buy yourself quality kitchen tools to cook breakfast with.

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Not only has he heavily invested in these breakfast gadgets, but he knows his priorities. How about helping him gain some cash so he can apply for the renewal of his passport? You could always ask him to prep you fresh toast with the merchandise.

With His Bag of Coal

Christmas is nearing. And Andy Marsden knows it’s the perfect time for him to market his services. He knows he can draw. It’s just that we wish he had put in more practice honing his skills. He’s almost got it!

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Here’s a little fun fact. Every Christmas, St. Nick stops by his house to bring him a bag of gifts. Guess what these are. Why, no other than a lump of coals with which he uses to draw these doggo portraits! Andy has been an awfully bad boy.

Fits Your Backyard?

We don’t understand why some customers dislike AliExpress. It’s so easy to find the perfect item in this online retail service. While we were looking for something to fiddle with, we came across this item! All that’s left to worry about is delivery.

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You can choose to have this item delivered to your backyard after a month, or you can choose to piece it together yourself. But the biggest problem is fitting it in there. We’re sure everyone in the neighborhood will love this attraction!

Didn’t Wonder

Now that we’re growing older, we’re staying up late, and it’s not because we want to. That’s when our brain is most active, overthinking about what our workmates said, if we had locked the door, and what Harry Potter would look like if he had teeth for glasses.

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It’s not really the most flattering look for the orphan. But we are certain this will scare away Voldemort just as efficiently as the scar on his forehead. Potter doesn’t need to master the spells, not anymore, with this fail-safe defense.

Sure, We’ll Do It For You

Jamie posted this advert weeks ago, but until now, there haven’t been any takers. She asked us for help. We said we’d take a look at it and then tell her what was wrong with it. Jamie needs to learn a thing or two about customer support.

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Jamie, you really shouldn’t pass the burden of taking this bed apart and then piecing it back together. And if it isn’t too much to ask, take a picture of the bed without your stuff on it. People are going to start thinking you’re putting up a garage sale.

Glaring

Just how many good ideas come by? Ask Krzysztof; not too many! This guy decided he would be re-selling Pepsi Colas in cans. He’s only trying his hand at it, so he decided to make money off one and use it to buy more of the stuff.

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Really, who would want to buy a lone Pepsi-Cola stocked at room temperature? What’s even worse is that the suggested retail price is drawn over the top of the can! This guy is lucky that he even got a like and two comments. This should be reported!

Throws Away the Spells

You guys are in luck! We have come across a limited edition pixie doll sold at a reasonable price. It has been kept in mint condition, and here’s a picture of it out of the box so you can inspect it more thoroughly. How about placing an order?

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Forget it. We’ve got a piece of advice for whoever chooses to sell this pixie doll. Throw away the book of spells! Keep this pixie buried where it belongs. The last thing we need is to bring a childhood nightmare back to life.

Must Talk To It

Without personally knowing this seller, we know that this product is legit. Wanna know how? He’s selling an (outdated) condescending tumble dryer. He says it only works when it wants to, but given that it’s English, we aren’t surprised.

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The guy has tried everything. He has kicked this tumble dryer, slammed his fist unto it, and out of desperation, pleaded with it. With the right tone of voice, you will hear the tumble of laundered clothing inside this machine.

Seems Familiar

A.J. Assar swears by an honest living. But that can only get you so far. Lately, he has come up with another life plan. He has decided to try his hand at sales. And his first product is this display stand, complete with a console, TV, and controllers.

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Seems familiar? Sure it does. Without checking the paper, we can tell that this was the exact set stolen from one of the stores in town. Assar would have gotten away with this sale if only it wasn’t the sole console sold.

A Plushie!

Here’s one advantage of buying an item online. After an advert is posted, many can quickly critique whether the item is legit or not. All you need to do is to browse through the comment section and see if the seller is telling the truth.

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This seller had been a bit too hasty in posting a picture of this couch. The platform didn’t allow him to delete the image. So it was one lie after another, telling potential buyers that it was only a plushie standing in the background and, later on, that it was a neighbor’s cat.

The Transporter

There are simply some people who have a natural knack for comedy. Without even trying, this guy managed to reap a dozen lol reacts and reshares and finally secured himself a buyer. What had been the item? A spotted transporter.

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Yeah, it does look like Statham. Whoever created this paper mache did a great job making a modern-day sphinx using Jason’s head. We’re sure this is doubly effective at guarding the souls in the afterlife and keeping people from looting the pyramid.

Drawn Into Life

These are the few people who actually do have rad drawing skills. This guy only uses pen, markers, and paper to professionally draw dog portraits. The only drawback is that he has an obvious dislike for cats. Won’t draw them!

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Is it just us, or did this guy manage to draw that dog into life! He has got that forced smile drawn to a tee, and we can’t help but want to book an appointment to have a portrait of our furball done too. He says it should only take 30 minutes tops!

Definitely Him

Imagine hanging this on your living room wall and then watching everyone do a double-take at it. Is that…You nod your head; yep, it is! They cover their mouths. It looks like the spitting image of John Lennon! Why, they even remembered to add his whiskers!

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We can’t imagine any person living in this day and age not knowing what John Lennon looks like. That’s far from him, with that blonde, frizzy hair and that circular face. It really seems like this seller has let him down.