Microblog Marvels: 35+ Posts That Remind Us Why We Love The Internet
There are a number of websites you can visit online to pass the time, but none are as deep, dark, and full of treasures as the abyss that is Tumblr. You never know what you’re going to find when surfing this microblogging website. Though Reddit and Twitter are bigger names in social media platforms today, Tumblr is full of hidden gems.
Some people use it to share poetry, photography, and art. But let’s be honest; we love it for the unexpected and sometimes crazy posts that pop up once you punch in the word “funny” on the website’s search bar.
It’s easy to get lost and doom scroll until your finger starts hurting, so to save you some time, we’ve gathered several posts that will make you have a good laugh to make your day even better.
What’s Van ‘Goghin’ on here?
Some cats like to chase mice, some spend hours chasing laser lights, and others like to dedicate their time to grooming (and then coughing out hairballs). But the little fellow in this picture knows how to appreciate the finer things.
That’s the explanation a father gave to his son about the sudden appearance of tiny Van Gogh paintings all over the house. Who knows, maybe the kitty is secretly studying to become an art critic or even an art dealer.
Bet you were not expecting that
High-contrast photos are usually visually striking, but what’s really calling our attention here is the theme this photographer chose: random fruit threateningly floating around in the middle of the night. Is that what happens to our produce when we go to sleep?
No wonder our bananas suddenly become bruised. With all that floating going on, some of them are bound to hit a wall. Either that, or it happens when the fruits decide to invite their vegetable friends to go sliding together.
A desperate need for human contact
Usually, when we’re in social situations, and we accidentally touch someone’s leg under the table, we immediately move it away. There is such an unexplained awkwardness in bumping knees, touching hands, or rubbing arms that no wonder we sometimes miss the human touch.
Bros know that all too well, which is why they not only shake each other’s hands but also make sure to hug and even pat each other’s backs. So girls, take a note: hugs before mugs when you go out for coffee.
Don’t mess with the sorting hat
Admit it, after reading the books or watching one of the many movies of the saga, you went online and took a quiz to find out which Hogwarts house you would be sorted into. Don’t be shy. We’ve tried too.
The sorting hat is an all-knowing, wise, and cranky creature, which is why getting on its nerves is a bad idea. Fistinginferno learned this lesson the hard way. You mess with the hat. You’re punished just like that.
Now that would be an annoying alarm clock
Every sane person hates to be awakened by a pesky alarm clock, but is it any better to be pulled out of a dream by someone talking about greasy food? Joey from Friends would definitely say, “Yes, where’s the bacon?”
Neither the carnivorous nor the vegan version of “wakey, wakey” are the right way to start the day. Start with a “Wakey, wakey, coffee and that job you hate,” and instead of getting out of bed, cry under the sheets.
What is that creature?
We’ve all had our moments of boredom in which we decided to try and take some “artistic” photos. Some end up looking great, and some look like the creature that lurks under our bed when we go to sleep.
Is it a pair of elbows? The Loch Ness monster? A duck with some thick, influencer lips? We don’t want to know what that silhouette really is, we just know that this needs to be shut down right now. RIGHT NOW!
Well, that would ‘sock’
To join an improv group, you have to be able to think on your feet. It’s all fun and games until you have to come up with a funny concept on the spot but instead end up saying, “Yes. And?”
The idea that socks could stop being made is ridiculous indeed, but you know who would never recover from such loss? Washing machines. What would these electrical appliances make disappear if pairs of socks weren’t around to be divided anymore?
You be the judge
Is it a crime to follow your natural instincts? The justice system in this poster’s dream seems to think so. Otherwise, why would they try to sue Mothman for smashing into light posts? A moth has got to fly!
In our opinion, humans are the ones to blame. We were the ones who decided to create artificial sources of light, which clearly confuse insects and folkloric creatures. Put us on trial and let the Mothman roam wild and free!
Is this how sports work?
If you ask sports fans about the game last night, they’ll give you a full account of what went on in the match. But what if you know nothing about the sport in question, other than there’s a ball involved?
That seems to be the level of knowledge devipotato and oldroots have about the subject. Honestly, we can’t blame them. Some sports never become entertaining no matter how many times you try to watch them. So, did the ball go?
That took a second
“We couldn’t deliver your package,” “Collect your Amazon prize,” and “Click here to enter the prize draw.” Have you ever fallen for one of these scams? Sometimes, they can be so convincing people end up getting swindled, people like Ray McArthur.
Like a character in a horror movie who is attacked but doesn’t start showing the symptoms immediately, it took a couple of minutes for Ray’s account to be taken over so the hackers could post in his name. Poor guy!
What did we just read?
Some people have strange eating habits, and others are just downright nuts. We’re not talking about those who eat scorpions and cockroaches – crunchy bugs are a great source of protein – but about people like targuzzler and smeasel.
Mayonnaise in a can? Heated mayonnaise? These two posters deserve to be slapped in the face with a healthy dose of mayo-tuna paste to see if they can come to their senses. No more mayonnaise for you, you silly gooses!
Let’s not, ok?
Some people use the internet for entertainment, research, or even to share knowledge and make people stop and reflect. Others seem to just like to watch the world burn. To which category do you think the second poster belong?
We bet the-fault-in-our-balls wakes up every day, sits in front of his computer, and takes loud sips of his bitter, soulless coffee while trolling online and writing snarky comments. To him, we say: log off and get a life!
We love a good superhero movie, and Spider-Man is one of our favorites. You might be wondering which actor we prefer, but we just can’t choose. After all, each one portrayed the hero exactly right: like a real badass.
So, we think laughingfish should keep his opinions to himself and let us believe that Peter Parker didn’t make a fuss about the bite because he’s a mega cool character, rather than someone who can’t afford proper medical treatment.
Keep those matches away
If we visit the right websites, we will find a ton of hacks that can make our lives easier. Tumblr, for example, is ripe with little tips just like this: crayons can pass for candles in case of emergency.
The question here is not what the crayons consider to be an emergency, but if by using this hack in front of children we will turn them into pyromaniacs. No one wants to have their house burned down because of a tantrum.
You know how some people are so forgetful that they say, “I would forget my head at home if it wasn’t attached to my body?” Well, this is exactly like that – not a body part, but something equally alive.
The poor lady must have been so frazzled that she managed to forget her dog at home. As for the pooch, we’re sure he was having the time of his life back home dragging his butt on the new living-room carpet.
The Cage of it all
When we apply to new jobs, it’s always nice to think our resume is going to stand out from all the others in the pile. But is the trick showing off your skills or showing off your zany side?
The author of this post accidentally attached the wrong file to her e-mail, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If Kelly is a true movie buff, we’re sure she’s a major fan of the truly unique and excentric Nick Cage.
Don’t go in there!
Hollywood is constantly releasing new movies, which means they’re always looking for new ideas and stories. Lately, they’ve been remaking and rebooting a lot of stuff, but instead, they should turn to Tumblr to come up with new and exciting concepts.
This movie would be scary in so many ways. Not only would the entities that haunt the house give us quite a few jumpscares, but the notion of having to look for new housing would make us want to scream.
It’s crystal clear
We’re not sure if we believe crystals have powers to do whatever it is that each of them is said to do, but we do think this poster is correct. You can read his statement and judge for yourself.
Heck, if you throw anything hard enough, it can be considered a “banishing object.” So if you have someone you want to cast out of your life, start rummaging around your pantry for an old can of beans or a pound of sugar.
Those pesky winter sports
Are you ready, sports fans? Then get your gear ready and start warming up those vocal cords because there’s a sports event just around the corner waiting for your cheers. Which one? The summer or winter, uh… whatever is going on right now.
Which ones are your favorites? The summer sports, in which athletes compete with all they’ve got, or the winter sports, in which, according to these two posters, create a Hunger Games-like scenario where the objective is to survive until the end?
Misbehaving is fun!
Most of us like to think we are good people. We do our best to follow the rules, lend a helping hand once in a while, and make sure we separate and recycle. But what if, sometimes, we could be bad?
This poster seems to have found the perfect loophole so that we can be naughty once in a while without ending up with a sock full of coal on Christmas day: just do it when Santa’s not looking. That’s the obvious answer.
Spell name: Yeehaw!
Sometimes, it’s good to look at things from a different perspective, even if that involves doing a headstand to see things upside down. We wonder what position neyruto was in when he came up with this rather fascinating theory.
Whatever the inspiration for it was, we are sold! Horses as familiars and bullets as spells? We’d watch that Western instead of any of Clint Eastwood’s any time of the day. Someone needs to make a movie about this right now!
The worst nightlight
There are a number of things that can help us fall asleep. Reading, having a glass of milk, and listening to soothing sounds are some of the best. Staring at a brightly lit screen in the dark is the worst.
But maybe someone just posted about a new sleeping technique, maybe there’s a new pill for it, or maybe it’s time to sit up in bed and come to terms with the truth: you, my dear, are a screen addict.
Bzz, bzz, bzz
Animals communicate with sounds, saying “words” in their very own language to share vital information or maybe a hot piece of gossip. Elephants, for example, have a particular noise they make to warn their “brolephants” about the presence of bees.
Humans have language, but we also have a lot of complex feelings like resentment and guilt, and we tend to hold grudges. So yes, we can warn you by speaking, but maybe won’t because of that thing you did that time lasty summer, remember?
Flashing the pearly whites
If you ever find yourself thinking you’re having the time of your life, stop and take a look at this photo. Is anyone having a better time than this Chinese man from the early 1900s eating his bowl of rice?
Eating delicious food feels great, but the only time we’ve ever looked as excited to be eating a bowl of rice was when we had that dodgy burrito by the side of the road and then ended up with the runs.
Hello, toilet? It’s me, phone
With so many famous last words inaccurately quoted online, the pressure is on to think of the most epic thing to say on one’s deathbed. We’ve been toying with some ideas, but none will ever be as great as these:
Noble Siri decided that the last thing she should do was not to help the iPhone owner to fix it but rather give her advice about maybe slowing down a bit. Twenty-right events in a month? Who can keep up with that?
You know how when you go to the thrift shop to try to find some hidden treasure you end up finding the weirdest items? This poster certainly knows what we’re talking about. Just look at the Christmas ornament he’s found.
We don’t know the reason why the second word doesn’t look anything like “Christmas,” but we like to think the ornament’s creator was so excited about the most wonderful time of the year that they had a mini-stroke.
If you hang out with the right crowd, sooner or later, someone is bound to ask you about your darkest desires. We had never thought about ours, but after reading this Tumblr post, we want to steal penadryl’s idea.
We’ve always wondered what happens to TV show and movie characters when they just vanish after the bus or the subway goes by. Did they jump onto it, hanging on to a window, or perhaps slid under the moving vehicle? I guess we’ll never know.
Fair deal, don’t you think?
Everyone is familiar with Hansel and Gretel, the two children who are roaming around the forest and decide to eat at a complete stranger’s house. They’re usually considered the heroes in the story, but is the witch actually the villain?
Can you imagine coming home after a long day of work only to find a chunk of your place gone? Your landlord would never give you your security deposit back. You might as well make up for it with some free food.
Duck, duck, goose
Who says you need to go to the gym to get ripped? Anyone can start exercising right away by using whatever they have handy. Cartons of milk are a handy replacement for weights when you’re home, but what are your options outdoors?
This gentleman at the park seems to think that ducks are ideal for helping his arms get more toned. We would love to catch up with him a couple of months from now to see the results. Quack, quack!
“I wish I could find some treasure,” says the man with the metal detector, hoping to discover something of great value. To that man, we say, “be careful what you wish for” because you might end up with a nasty curse.
Maxiestatanofficial seems to have spent some time thinking about this, which is why he’s decided to shame those who create the curses. Someone somewhere is holding his sides, laughing every time one of his amulets is found “lost” in the woods.
Can you hear us?
They get tangled in your backpack, lost in your bedroom, and stop working at the most crucial moments. We’re talking about headphones, of course, which apparently can be replaced with a stethoscope placed strategically over a computer speaker.
An ingenious solution for doctors, nurses, and veterinarians, but who else has a stethoscope just lying around? Try using a string telephone instead with two paper cups and a string. It’s cheap, easy, and guaranteed to make you look like an idiot.
A complex decision
Ladies and gentlemen of the service industry, let’s not make simple things more complicated than they need to be. Yes, it’s fun to be creative, but it’s not fun having to mop the floor outside the bathroom because a confused customer couldn’t hold it in.
Keep your bathroom signs direct and simple. Nobody likes to have to decipher hieroglyphs when it’s time to go potty. So, if you want to keep that mop bucket in the utility closet, “MEN” and “WOMEN” is the way to go.
StarCraft to the rescue
Being able to remember dreams is a pretty cool ability that not everyone is born with. Remembering nightmares not so fun, which is why we envy this poster’s boyfriend and want to learn how to acquire that gift pronto!
The fact that the guy manages to realize he is in a dream is already mind-boggling, but the fact that he can summon a videogame menu to come and get him out of the nightmare is nothing short of amazing.
Liar, Liar, pants on fire
What would you say if we asked you who the most famous liar of all time is? We know you want to say the name of a politician or two, but we think it’s actually a beloved Disney character.
The main difference between Pinocchio and most liars is that his nose grows whenever he lies, so we’re inclined to agree with the original poster in this discussion. Who else walks around 24/7 with a built-in lie detector?
Now that’s what we call magic!
Watching a magic show can be pretty exciting. We know the magic isn’t real, but we love the ingenious ways in which magicians keep surprising us. And what’s one of the most common tools in their magic tool box? Card decks.
We’ve all had a magician say to us, “Pick a card, any card!” then shuffle it back into the deck and guess which one it was. But the long trick played by the magician in this joke? That’s what we call commitment!
The cutest boss baby
If you want to be truly successful in the business world, you’ve got to start young. The best jobs always ask for a ton of experience, so don’t waste time: throw your baby into the job market right now!
This photo is not only a cute memento but also a great way to show how professional your baby is. Start typing that resume, we’re sure someone somewhere is looking for a baby who can go “waaah!” on cue.
When things get Harry
The U.K. has plenty of Harrys to go around: Harry Potter, Harry Styles, Prince Harry, and whatever that mop-like creature is. The comment about the accent could be referring to any of them, but what about the other comments?
The composite image is pretty funny on its own because of the fictional and slightly disturbing red character added to the collection of famous Harrys, but it’s actually the last comment in the post that hits a home run for us.
Donde está la biblioteca?
An empath, a furry, non-binary… In this day and age, people can identify as so many different things that even if it were wrong, “I’m Spanish” would be the least confusing thing someone could say to you as an introduction.
We wonder if the original poster eventually realized how silly their statement was or if it was only after the second poster chimed in (and perhaps showed them a map) that they acknowledged that there is a country called Spain.
Before coming across this Tumblr post, we had never heard of a splayd before. We’d heard of sporks, knorks, and even spifes, but it turns out there’s also a combination of the three. Did you know that? We didn’t!
For all we knew, a splayd could have been a mythical creature with nine eyes, a long beard, and a blue nose. We’re glad we know now. We wouldn’t want to be caught off guard on our next pub quiz.
That went well
You’ve got to admire this young man’s determination. If you have met a cat before, you know how much they hate to be controlled, so how did this owner manage to put a full harness on his kitty kat?
We applaud his efforts to make his pet happy by providing a change in scenery with a walk, but the cat does not seem to enjoy it. He’s either trying to run away or doing his best imitation of a squirrel.
Moms and dads, this one is for you because wherever there are children, there are parents with dark circles under their eyes and a coffee mug in their hands. So no wonder Jupiter looks like this – 79 moons are no joke!
Some parents say that it takes a village to raise a child, so we have a piece of advice to give Jupiter: you’re not alone in the universe. It’s time to call some of the other planets to help you babysit.
Hmm, eating. It’s one of the most delicious pleasures in the entire world and a source of comfort when things are not going your way. And also when things are going your way because yummy is yummy no matter the occasion.
We can certainly relate to jzux’s way of thinking because life can be truly exhausting, regardless if you’re bummed or having fun. Flunked out of college? Have some soda and a pizza. Became valedictorian? Have a tub of ice cream with whipped cream on top.
The mighty potato
It’s Halloween, you’re a little kid, and you’re excited to go trick or treating. You’ve been to a couple of houses and got a bunch of candy. Then, you approach another porch and stumble upon this. What do you do?
In a land filled with candy, the potato is the treasure. Slice it up and make fries, bake it, and eat it with butter or chuck it at that kid that bullies you in school. Potatoes: not just food but also a weapon.
Ah, the good old days when people would meet casually at a bar or be set up on blind dates by their friends. ‘Twas indeed a simpler time. Nowadays, we have all kinds of dating apps, and frankly, we are exhausted.
We’re thinking of taking a page out of Don Hughe’s book and trying out his tactic. It can’t be any worse than having to scroll through millions of profiles of people saying, “I don’t use this app often. Hit me up on Instagram.”
We’re ordering something asap!
With student loans being so expensive, housing prices rising every day, and so many cool paid events to go to, a lot of us have to find side gigs. That includes animals, like this snake who just got her first job.
We must confess that we hate having to pay for the delivery fees every time we order out, but if this little guy were the one in charge of delivering it, we’d be ordering food every night and leaving a tip every time.